so you have to do it
We are not talking about familiar greetings, but about those encounters that we practice in the professional environment. Although the handshake in greeting is more typical of Western cultures, it is now accepted as a form of courtesy almost everywhere in the world. The way we shake hands when we enter a circle or are introduced to someone, a gesture of record that may seem simple, can be crucial at a first meeting. It is also a clear indicator of people’s education and biological age. But there are many more messages you can convey with this gesture, which so many international critics implicate the current US President Donald Trump.
Lead us from an intervention of Teresa Baro, Nonverbal communication expert and author of The Great Guide to Nonverbal Language and other authors such as Alan PleaseAuthor of the book “The Language of the Body”, these are the most important points to consider when shaking hands:
-When: Every time you are introduced to someone new and every time you say goodbye. It’s wise to wait for the person with the highest authority to extend their hand first, although if the environment isn’t overly stern, you can proceed, completing the gesture with your name and a formalism like “enchanted” or ” a joy”. “.
– Make eye contact. Look directly at the person you are talking to without subjecting them to imaging diagnostics.
– Spread a smile when you approach and stretch out your hand.
-Keep your distance at least between 45 and 60 cm, so as not to invade the premises of your interlocutor.
-The hand you stretch out will be vertical, never lying or tilting, less upside down because it conveys the intent of dominance. Once you get those from your interlocutor, both vertical hands should match perfectly as a sign of sympathy and mutual respect. The arm should be relaxed, never stiff.
– Never refuse a pressure Hands like Donald Trump with Angela Merkel, whom he didn’t deign to look at when they appeared together in front of the media.
-Short. 3-5 seconds is enough. Extending too far is also seen as an expression of dominance, like the 19 seconds Donald Trump held the hand of Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe.
-Stand up if the greeting surprises you sitting down. Women are tolerated to sit, but more and more women choose to take the same position as the interlocutor.
When classifying the types of handshakes to be avoided, we orient ourselves primarily to that of Teresa Baró. The wrapper type is also associated with the glove style known as the “political handshake” by Allan Pease. The Initiator intends to give the impression of being trustworthy and honest, but when used on someone it has just met it will have the opposite effect. According to Teresa Baró, it is these handshakes that surround you everywhere with the two hands of the interlocutor. It’s bad when one person does it, but when both do it, it’s worse. Teresa Baró understands that this kind of greeting can be acceptable in a loving plan when addressing an elderly person or a child, but this overconfidence is never recommended in a professional setting.
It’s a gentle greeting, hardly any pressure that leaves the hand dead. It is an uncomfortable feeling that prevents communication with the other person and gives the impression of a lack of energy, vitality or strength. Someone who greets like this gives the impression of a person with a passive and weak character.
It would be the opposite of lazy. That handshake that leaves red knuckles or ring marks on the finger due to excess energy. The impression given may be more frank, but you must be careful when practicing with a woman, an elderly person, or an Asian who is not used to effusive expressions. It’s usually the sign of a bit of a tough guy.
the fish tail
That’s what Teresa Baró calls it and is very similar to lazy. It occurs when you get a fallen, limp hand from which you can only pick up the tip or beginning of the fingers without being able to adjust the hand you get with no firmness. Some also call it wet noodles and associate this type of contact with submission and a passive attitude.
Baró says this type is usually typical of very shy people who shake your hand and pull it back very quickly, as if they were burned or had a cramp. To avoid this impression, it is advisable to hold the greeting a little, at least for at least 2 or 3 arm movements. It also refers to people who get to the point.
It is exactly the opposite of the express greeting. It consists of holding the bandaged hand longer than is practical to prevent the recipient from withdrawing. In the end it is uncomfortable, so much warmth and enthusiasm in the encounter that the hand-giver wants to convey.
According to Teresa Baró, some people offer a handshake with their index finger extended so that the handshake causes a tingling in the wrist of the person receiving it.
It’s the handshake that involves shaking your arm vigorously, so it can sometimes seem like your shoulder is coming off. This type also tends to lengthen more than the appropriate amount of time, so it ends up bothering you.
The “come here”
It is another of the categories that distinguishes Teresa Baró. It’s the intimidating greeting where the recipient stretches their arm to close the distance. The pressure can be so intense that some nearly fell, as Donald Trump did when he met Judge Neil Gorsuch. Also, when someone offers their hand by extending a stiff arm, it is associated with an aggressive person trying to control us.
It is practiced by those people who shake hands with you because protocol seems to require it, but give the impression that this is not their style. It is very typical of American personalities like Bill Gates to extend one hand in greeting without taking the other out of his pocket.