Fear is one of the six basic emotions. 95% of the decisions we make every day are based on fear. We are afraid of something, of losing something, and we make decisions based on that. It’s like fear, which is the projection into the future of things that didn’t happen.
Often in a negotiation I am afraid that the other person might go on the defensive if I put forward a certain argument. We can feel fear as if it has already happened. This looks good when sellers are negotiating the price or sale of products.
For example, a seller signing or about to sign a big deal and negotiating the terms of that deal. If that seller is constantly visualizing the commission he’s going to get because it’s one of the most important operations he’s ever done in his life, very often or almost always, the fear factor of losing it will kick in – if I do or say certain things – because fear is a totally subjective factor, according to the story I’m telling myself internally.
We need to stop and think about what we are telling ourselves to see if it is something that is preventing you from reaching the negotiation and if it is necessary to change your own discourse about yourself.
In order to train these qualities, one must know how to recognize the emotions experienced and then ask oneself, what can I do in this fearful situation?
You realize that if the surgery doesn’t work out in the end, you don’t have to regret it, because in many cases it’s less important than you give it. If we put the importance of what I’m doing into perspective, i.e. the pressure of the result, and on the other hand I reduce the fear factor because I see that there are no overtones, that unlocks us.
A trick that works
Use a physical or auditory anchor. If you want to be calm, composed, alert and responsive in a negotiation situation, look back at a moment in your life when you felt that way, relive that moment and when you feel that sense of serenity at its fullest, create an anchor, for example, press one finger strongly against another. Then at another time, before entering the negotiation room, squeeze your fingers again to regain that sense of serenity.
This is a physical anchor, but there are also auditory anchors (e.g. a song that reminds you of a situation you experienced). Music is a strong anchor. The anchors prepare you for entry. In this way, you can create an anchor of serenity, intelligence, quick decisions, etc., because we have all experienced such moments in our lives. Even if you haven’t experienced them, they can also be created.