Trained biotechnologist, years ago for private reasons, Pau Forner Navarro interested in social and emotional skills. He researched and trained thoroughly in these areas. came from that social skills, a blog that now has more than 40,000 subscribers and 400,000 page views per month. In it he explains in a simple way, but always supported by scientific studies, how important it is to develop social skills, not only to build good relationships and to connect with others, but also to be happier.

The expert in social psychology explains how to do this in his book Shape Your Life: Learn the Social Skills That Lead You to Personal Success, the main topic of which is about the aspects that make up charismatic personalities and how to develop them.

Why is charisma particularly recommended for an entrepreneur? “Firstly, because it has been scientifically proven that people with charisma earn more money thanks to perseverance and self-confidence, and secondly, because there are hardly any leaders in any area who are not charismatic,” answers Pau Navarro.

In his opinion, there are three pillars that can make a person charismatic: competence, trust and closeness. He himself explains what each of them consists of.

The trust

More than what we awaken in others, at this point it relates to self-confidence, which could also be called self-esteem. “It will be difficult for us to relate well to others if we don’t relate well to ourselves,” he claims. In order to conquer self-confidence, it also insists on demystifying a generalized belief that it is better not to do something unless we are first confident that we will succeed in doing it. That would be a limiting thought that paralyzes us in the face of fear of failure. “It’s not like you have to feel safe before you start something. The order is reversed. Actions come first and with them comes confidence,” he says, illustrating it with the example of when we first started riding bikes. “When we pedal and see that we can do it, we gain confidence.”

The same formula would serve to eradicate another emotion that leads to passivity: lack of motivation. “Often we think I don’t do it because I don’t feel motivated enough. To do something you just have to start doing it, because action and motivation go together. If we stick to the first belief, we become slaves to our emotions,” he warns.

the competition

He speaks of a person being competent when they meet two basic requirements. The first is to be exceptionally good at something. Having skills and abilities that lead others to see them as an authority in the field. But knowledge is not enough. The other requirement that makes a charismatic person visible to others is closeness. That means you not only have to be good at something, you also have to be a close person. One doesn’t exist without the other, but to effectively explain the first, vehicle is the word.

The roundabouts

From closeness comes the trust you inspire and the ability to connect with the people you speak to. This is where it comes in the art of communication. “Being good at something depends on oneself, but the way to bring that competency to the whole is the word, and to use it effectively requires assertiveness.” The RAE defines assertiveness as the quality of a person “who stands up for their opinions”. For Pau Navarro, however, it is a simple way of expressing yourself that follows, step by step, the path that people follow when making decisions. This process can be summarized in four steps: first we inform ourselves, then we think that the thought creates an emotion and this drives an action. The earlier we include communication in this process, the more likely we will be assertive without waiting for our emotions to dictate our actions. People with the ability to express their beliefs and defend their rights without hurting others is another trait that makes them more charismatic.

Another factor is emotional communication. According to Pau Navarro, most of us are used to presenting ourselves according to the guidelines of factual communication. That means I’m just stating the facts, what my name is… I work as… in the company that it is. It would be much more effective to accompany this information with some emotions, such as: B. Work like … because I am passionate about the world of … and I would like to help … With this second message loaded with a different emotional verb, you understand the person who receives it believes that they know you better and facilitates the connection. “Charismatic people use positive emotional communication—not those who constantly express negative emotions—because they know that way it’s easier to empathize, which is useful not only for gaining the trust of others, but also for the getting another person to agree. equally open through the mirror phenomenon and through reciprocity,” explains Navarro.

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